


To See The Stars

by idrilhadhafang



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Genderswap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-07
Updated: 2013-02-07
Packaged: 2017-11-28 13:31:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/674936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Snippets from the life of Amelia Skywalker, Chosen One.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To See The Stars

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

1\. Amelia Skywalker has always dreamed of seeing the stars.  
  
It's not an easy life for her on Tatooine, to say the least. If nothing else, it's rather difficult. Still, it is better than her previous life, with Gardulla; Watto is not a perfect master, but he is kind -- at least kinder than most masters on Tatooine treat their slaves. He at least gives her and her mother a place to live, and for that, Amelia supposes she is grateful.  
  
And she has Kitster and Wald, which also helps. Still, if nothing else, she longs to leave Tatooine, to see the stars. To see the sky. To soar through space, perhaps with the Jedi Knights she's heard about in stories.  
  
Maybe one day...  
  
2\. When she first meets Padme Naberrie and the others, Amelia thought that she had met people right out of stories that she had heard. A group of unlikely people, teaming up to thwart evil. Granted, this evil is more realistic and almost visceral.   
  
She has grown up on Tatooine after all. She is a bit too aware of the dangers of greedy creatures -- her time with Gardulla, and to a lesser extent, Watto, is proof enough of that. That and the fact that if nothing else -- how can she not help Qui-Gon and the others when they so obviously need it?   
  
She knows full well that it's dangerous -- and that Mom hates it when she podraces, and that Watto doesn't trust her ever since she (accidentally) crashed that pod -- but if nothing else, if it can help Qui-Gon and the others, she'll do it.  
  
After all, isn't the biggest problem in the galaxy, as Mom once said, that no one helps each other?  
  
3\. There's something about the idea of guarding Padme which is wonderful -- just being around Padme is wonderful, in all truth -- and yet somehow, is enough to get Amelia worried. Just because one assassin was thankfully thwarted doesn't mean more won't come in the future. And that's what gets Amelia worried. The thought of Padme getting hurt...well, it worries her.   
  
Still, she tries to reassure Padme a bit. After all, they have Artoo with them, she says. What could they be afraid of? One Senator, one Jedi, one astromech. What could possibly go wrong?  
  
Still, in spite of herself, Amelia cannot help but be worried.   
  
4\. It's late in the morning that Padme finds her, out of bed, standing overlooking the water. She is so still that she nearly seems to shake, and there's something about it that terrifies her, frightens her, even. She turns to go -- if nothing else, she doesn't want to disturb Amelia -- but if nothing else, Amelia turns to look at her and says, "It's all right, Padme. Stay."  
  
Padme stills then, takes a look at her. "I didn't want to disturb you."  
  
"You never could." Amelia smiles if only slightly. Padme smiles almost despite herself before going to join Amelia on the balcony. If nothing else, there's something soothing about simply overlooking the water. Then Amelia speaks.  
  
"I think my mother's in trouble."  
  
There's something about the idea that is enough to chill Padme. The idea of Shmi -- the wonderful, sweet woman she met on Tatooine -- in danger...  
  
"Master Yoda," Amelia says, "Once said that the future is always in motion. Or 'always in motion is the future' if one wants to be technical. But I think..." She bites her lip. "She's suffering, Padme. She's in pain and she's all alone -- I have to go and find her."  
  
"Then I'll go with you," Padme says.  
  
Amelia looks at her if only in amazement.  
  
"Amy," Padme says, "If she's in trouble, I'm going with you. Besides, you'll be able to protect me still, won't you?"  
  
Silence.  
  
"Yes," Amelia says, although there is something in her voice that Padme swears is somehow doubtful, almost as if fearing that she won't be able to protect her. But that's ridiculous. After all, Padme can take care of herself. Can't she?  
  
5\. She doesn't tell Obi-Wan about the Tusken camp; after all, it's not like she can. After all, it's not as if he needs more reasons to be disappointed in her. She can still remember him telling her that she needed to learn her place as a Padawan -- almost as if saying in that moment that he was the Master and she was the learner, and thus he outranked her.   
  
Granted, he apologized later, but the words still sting if nothing else.   
  
Just imagining the look on his face should she tell him about the camp is enough to break her heart.   
  
Amelia settles into her bed, shutting off the light and shutting her eyes. When she dreams, she can still see herself, killing, the anger in her being less anger and more like an unstoppable hurricane, and she can swear she hears this long cackling laugh that stays with her long after she wakes.   
  
6\. Being a General in the Clone Wars is not what she calls easy. It's not all bad -- at least with Ahsoka, she has someone to look after. Someone to nurture. She is no perfect mentor, but she can do the best she can. It helps -- except when it occasionally doesn't -- that Ahsoka, at least in a way, reminds her a bit of herself. Much to Obi-Wan's amusement.   
  
It's long after the Ryloth mission that Amelia finds Ahsoka sitting in the hangar, looking more alone than she ever has. There's something about it that's enough to break her heart. Even now, something in her says it's best to leave Ahsoka be, but if nothing else, Ahsoka raises her head and gives her a weary smile. "Hey, Master."  
  
"Hey," Amelia says. "I hope I'm not bothering you."  
  
"You're not," Ahsoka says.  
  
Amelia sits now with Ahsoka, and turns to look at her. "You're still upset about Ryloth, right?"  
  
"A bit," Ahsoka says. She sighs. "I was so *stupid*, Master -- "  
  
"You weren't," Amelia says. "You just made a mistake. You're...well, you're just like everyone else."  
  
"Maybe," Ahsoka says. She runs her forehead if only blearily. "I could have done more, Master. I really could have."  
  
Even comforting Ahsoka, there is something about her words that hurt. Because Amelia knows them too well. Everyone they lose in the war -- they're all important, all valuable, in so many ways, and losing them...there is no other way to put it, except what Ahsoka just said: //I could have done more.// After all, saving people is what she's made for. And if she can't do that, what good is she?  
  
7\. The Council has said that she can't interfere in what is technically a rightful government. And yet , at the same time, they're wrong, and worse than wrong at that. If anything, it's not a rightful government. It's been turned into a dictatorship. And knowing that so many people are suffering and dying...how can the Council just sit by and call themselves righteous for it?  
  
In the end, she disobeys the Council. She knows she will most likely be expelled for it, but if she can't help those in need, what's the point of being a Jedi?  
  
She does what she can, in the end. For the innocents' sake.  
  
8\. It's back on Coruscant that she gets Petro and the younglings' message. It's enough to chill her bones -- the idea of Ahsoka being in the hands of pirates -- she doesn't want to think about what will happen.   
  
There's a degree of charm, really, in knowing that Petro, if nothing else, seems staggered by the idea that he's speaking to Obi-Wan Kenobi himself. It's a pity that it happened under these circumstances.  
  
"We're right on the case," she tells Petro. "Don't panic."  
  
It's long after Petro's message ends that Amelia turns to look at Obi-Wan. "Looks like you got yourself a fan club," she jokes.  
  
Obi-Wan laughs. "Amelia," he says, "Don't even start."  
  
It's probably a bit inappropriate considering the circumstances, but one gets used to inappropriate joking in times like these. Amelia sighs. "Come on, Obi-Wan," she says, "Let's go get Ahsoka."  
  
9\. At least she has a moment with Artoo before he leaves. That's solace enough. She's already has instances where Artoo's been in danger; she doubts she wants another one.   
  
That and she can at least spend a moment with Artoo before heading to Carida Station for what's certain to be a dull military conference. She knows it's necessary, but she hates it nonetheless. She wants to be doing something, anything. Something with action, adventure, life. This...this is the opposite of that.  
  
"Look," she says to Artoo, "Colonel Gascon probably thinks he's very clever, but he's wrong."  
  
Artoo beeps cheerfully. "YOU DON'T SAY."  
  
"I know," Amelia says, smiling. "I have faith in you, Artoo. Don't you worry. Good luck, okay?"  
  
A toodle. "YOU TOO."  
  
"Thanks," Amelia says, grinning. "I'm going to need it."  
  
10\. Putting Artoo back together is a difficult job -- he was beat up pretty badly; to say it's a miracle he survived is putting it mildly -- but Amelia doesn't care. She'll do whatever it can to get Artoo functioning again. After all, how could she not? He's one of her best friends.   
  
The Jedi know that nothing truly lasts forever. Thus, to them, attachment is illogical. And not just that, it can make one highly greedy. Amelia disagrees with the latter, though -- if loving someone is selfish, if being close to them is selfish, she's not certain if she wants to be selfless.   
  
So she watches, sits vigil over Artoo as he is repaired, hoping more than anything that he will be all right.   
  
11\. It's the realization that the Chancellor's been kidnapped that frightens Amelia. If nothing else, that fact is bad enough, but the fact that General Grievous has kidnapped him scares her all the more. Grievous isn't known for being merciful, really. And to think of what will happen now that Grievous has his durasteel grip on Palpatine...  
  
Still, Amelia knows she can't afford to panic. She is boarding INVISIBLE HAND with Obi-Wan, she's going to rescue Palpatine, and just for good measure, she's going to capture Dooku and Grievous and help put them in Republic custody where they belong.  
  
She's going to save Coruscant. And no one will be able to stop her.   
  
12\. Amelia has never been a fan, to say the least, of Dooku. There's always been something about him that, to say the least, has grated on her nerves. His sheer elitism and snobbery, plus the fact that he tried to sentence Padme to death in the Geonosis arena along with Obi-Wan, has not really helped his case. That and his multiple crimes over the course of the war. Going to war isn't a crime in and of itself, nor is breaking from the Republic, but what he's done...  
  
She hates him. And yet standing over him with both lightsabers crossed at his throat, she can't bring herself to kill him. The look of sheer terror in his eyes, and utter betrayal...it almost makes her pity him. Almost.   
  
In the end, though, she kills him. She hates doing it, but if it can end the war faster, she'll do it. To save the galaxy, she would do anything. After all, if she can't save the galaxy, what good is she?  
  
13\. Amelia doesn't like to admit it, but if nothing else, she's been suspecting it if only for a while. Ever since she first came to Coruscant, she's had a feeling that the Republic is corrupt. Worse than corrupt, really -- the Senators who would tear each other apart like tu'kata over a scrap of meat, the red tape, and so much more. In all honesty, it feels as if the few people in the Senate she can trust are the Chancellor, Padme, Satine, and maybe Bail Organa and Mon Mothma. She can't say she knows Bail well, but he seems decent for the most part. And the Chancellor, Satine, and Padme have already proven how trustworthy they are.   
  
Otherwise...she can't say that she can trust many Senators. And the Jedi Council...they seem to be no more, really, than the Senate's attack fancies at times. Or at least seeming to think they can choose who lives and who dies. Sometimes Amelia thinks they can justify not freeing people like her mother from slavery and call themselves heroes. She's sick of them -- their hypocrisy and elitism and lack of feeling, their mentality that "the righteous are always right". And the more she learns about them, the more she wonders if she made a mistake in becoming a Jedi.   
  
So when Palpatine -- or Sidious, really; Amelia is almost tempted to smack herself for not realizing it -- offers her the possibility of joining him if only for the Republic's sake, she finds she can't refuse.   
  
And here she stands, Lady Vader, awaiting Palpatine's orders. The soldier awaiting commands, as she has always been. After all, it's all for the sake of the Republic, isn't it?  
  
14\. Of all the things she's done, she doesn't want to kill the Jedi, any of them. If nothing else, if not for the fact they decided to fight back instead of doing the logical thing and surrendering -- after all, that would just be asking for too much, wouldn't it? -- she wouldn't have done it. She gave them every chance in the galaxy, and they chose to look at her as a traitor.   
  
At least, some did. The younglings trusted her per always -- perhaps killing them is what hurts most, not killing the other Jedi. And killing the Separatists -- it should feel satisfying, but it's not. Nute Gunray, begging for mercy -- it's enough to hurt.  
  
Amelia Skywalker, Lady Vader, stands on the balcony overlooking Mustafar and quietly, she weeps.   
  
15\. She doesn't want to kill Obi-Wan. Or fight him, for that matter. One would expect she'd take not in the idea of doing so; after all, he's continually underestimated her. But she can still remember every joke shared, every battle they fought together, and so much more. Obi-Wan isn't always perfect, but she can't help but care for him still.  
  
So when he arrives on Mustafar, she tries to reason with him. "I wanted the opposite of this," she tells him, and it is the truth. She wouldn't lie to him, after all.  
  
"I know." Obi-Wan's voice is quiet.   
  
"I don't want to hurt you," Amelia tells him, "But I will if I have no other choice."  
  
Silence.   
  
Then Obi-Wan speaks. "I'm sorry."  
  
Even as they duel, it feels almost akin to one of their old sparring sessions, but it's not. It's a duel to the death; one will have to die if the other is to survive.   
  
Amelia knows that. She knows that Obi-Wan is a traitor; Sidious told her as much when he sent her out on that mission. And yet, in spite of herself, in spite of all that's happened, she can't help but love him.   
  
16\. It's later that she awakes on an operating table. Apparently, Sidious says, she was badly damaged in the fight with Obi-Wan, and that he brought her to Coruscant for healing. At least, she will have to wear prosthetics if only to replace her lost limbs.  
  
Amelia supposes that it is for the best. And yet she hates how clunky her new mechanical limbs feel. Even learning to walk again is difficult -- made worse considering that Sidious seems to have a macabre sense of humor and decided to design them to make her appear taller than she really is.  
  
And she'll have to wear the armor as well, if only to conceal her identity. She doesn't begrudge that; after all, it is for the best, she supposes. But it only uncomfortably reminds her that she isn't the woman she used to be. She has done this to herself for the sake of justice, and she's paying for it.  
  
And she hates it.   
  
17\. It's the knowledge of a pilot by the name of Luke Lars that truly kicks her back into action. There's something about him that feels too familiar for her tastes, as if she should know him, even though in all honesty she doesn't. At least, not until now. The pilot who destroyed the Death Star...  
  
It's not like she really grieves over the loss of that awful thing -- that hateful thing that destroyed Alderaan (and of course Leia thinks it's her fault, like one does). She more grieves for the soldiers who were onboard it who died. Some of them...some of them were akin to family. Some of her troopers, her comrades, her kin, have died. And though they told her once they wouldn't have missed a thing no matter what, she can't say it's much solace. If she can't save or protect, what good, honestly, is she?   
  
Not that it's helped. Padme has died, her mother has died -- every instance of trying to save someone, or most instances at least, have failed. And it's enough to make her hate the Rebellion even more than she has. The Empire does what it does out of duty. The Rebellion does it...just because they can. And to restore the Republic, they say, at times. But honestly, she wonders, does the Republic even deserve to be restored?  
  
18\. It's later that she learns about him being Obi-Wan's son. Even the idea is enough to make her wonder -- how could Obi-Wan have done this? All these years of preaching the value of non-attachment only to go and do this...  
  
Lady Vader knows that the Jedi have a hypocritical streak, but Obi-Wan? He couldn't possibly -- and running out on his son and leaving him alone?  
  
There's something about that that stuns her. Long after the Emperor's transmission has ended, Vader stands alone in her chamber and blearily runs her temples. Yes, she supposes, she has earned the right to madness.   
  
19\. He goes to meet her on Endor, alone. She doesn't know what he could gain by this; after all, she's done nothing but no doubt cause harm to him, after all this time. And here he is, having faith in her, asking her to come with him.  
  
She tries to tell him no, that she can't come with him, that she has a duty to the Empire, and yet he persists. "I know there is good in you," he presses. "The Emperor hasn't driven it from you fully."  
  
Is he completely naive? Of course he hasn't. She is not evil -- she merely does her job. This is all the Rebellion's fault, every last one of them. So blindly devoted to the Old Republic that they refuse to *see* --  
  
It's long after he's led from her that she turns if only to look over Endor. At least the forests are more soothing to look at than thinking about all this. His words are still echoing in her head. //I feel the conflict within you; let go of your hate!//  
  
And the worst part is, what if he's right?  
  
20\. They sit inside the shuttle even as the Death Star explodes. Even sitting inside the shuttle, Darth Vader, Amelia Skywalker, sits there, looking out at the explosion, unable to keep herself from mourning in spite of it all for everyone who was lost. Piett, for example. She quite liked him, and she has a feeling that Luke would have also. Even the Emperor, in a way. They were close once, and Amelia knows it too well.   
  
"Luke," she says, "What have I done?"  
  
"What have we done?" Luke says. "We've done what was right. Nothing more."  
  
He laces his hand in hers, and she's almost surprised at the gesture. It feels warm and gentle and so full of trust -- she can't help but marvel at the fact that this boy trusts her. After all this time, he trusts her. She squeezes back, just to reassure him that she's still there.  
  
//I've got you,// she tries to say, if only through this gesture. //And I'm never going to leave you.//   
  
Because she doubts she wants to lose anyone else.   
  
21\. Luke has no doubt heard of Amelia Skywalker through Obi-Wan's stories. Amelia cannot help but wonder how much Obi-Wan told him. Did he completely ignore everything bad that happened? Did he go in the other direction? She doesn't know.   
  
She can only suppose that Obi-Wan glorified her, because even as she removes the mask, Luke is amazed. "Amelia? Amelia Skywalker?"  
  
Amelia grins. "Hello." It feels good to be out of that mask again, after all this time.   
  
Luke bites his lip. "I just never thought -- "  
  
"I know." Amelia grows serious again. "Palpatine -- the Emperor supposed that it was best for me to wear it. The Empire needed a soldier, a symbol, and one could say that I was up for the challenge."  
  
"But why?"  
  
In truth, there are so many reasons. For loved ones, for those lost, and so many other things, but Amelia knows, above all, why. "Because someone had to protect the galaxy. And if I couldn't protect the galaxy, what good would I be?"  
  
Luke's voice is completely soft and sincere as he says, "All the good in the galaxy."  
  
There is something gentle and wonderful and warming about that statement. Something that Amelia has never realized she longed to hear.   
  
"Well," Luke says, "What do we do now...Amelia?"  
  
There are a lot of things, really. Rebuilding the Republic, stronger than it ever was. Rebuilding the Order into what it should have been. Cleaning up the damage she and Palpatine both inflicted -- there's something about that knowledge that is far too sobering for her tastes.   
  
"Well," she says, "The galaxy's in need of reparation. It's only right, after all. And the Republic and the Order. Just to make sure we don't get another Dooku, or another Grievous, or..."  
  
"Another Vader?" Luke says.  
  
Amelia nods. "For the most part."  
  
It will be a hard journey. But if nothing else, Amelia knows that she, Luke and the others will be prepared for whatever comes their way.


End file.
